Love Hina: My Story
by SilentRider
Summary: A very crappy wankfest of a story. I'm leaving it up simply because I want something to compare my new works with. For those about to hate, you have been warned of how bad this thing is and I salute you. I am not going to finish this...EVER.
1. A Normal Saturday Morning?

And now for something a little different...BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! That's right. I'm going to write this little tale of portals and demension crossing because I just feel like it. Today I'm goin to cut the speech and give you this fanfic, Love Hina: My Story. I know this may not abe a very origina idea but deal with it people. DISCLAIMER TIME!

I do not, I repeat DO NOT own Love Hina. It is created and owned by Ken Akamatsu. A.J.(Dat's me!), Lisa, Uncle Pat, and all others are owned by me mostly because they are real people in my family. LET'S PARTY!

Just before you start reading, A.J. is 13 and Lisa is 15.

It was a typical Saturday morning with A.J. laying in bed until 8 or 9 o' clock in the morning. He moved his fingers through his messy brown hair as he was going through another one of his messed up fantasy dream thingies.

"Keep those waffles away from me." He muttered in his sleep. A loud shreik coming from downstairs blasted A.J. out of his dream land and back to reality(Oh, there goes gravity!). His eyes snapped open, revealing two turquoise irises.

"Chewing gun, PINECONES! Huh? What was that?" He reached for the glasses on his nightstand and put them on, everything coming into focus. He took the small wooden medieval sword that had the swords "Medieval Times" printed on it and silently walked down the stairs, still in his Phat Farm shorts and shirt pajamas. He heard several people tlking in the living room, female voices at that.

"Where are we?"

"I don't know but this isn't the Hinata Inn."

"I don't care. As long as I can find booze somewhere."

"Kitsune, must you always have "booze" in your system?"

"Of course Motoko. If she didn't, her head would 'splode!"

A.J. didn't want to go directly into the living room so he took a shortcut through the dining room. He peered ito the adjacent room to see five girls standing there. One was about his cousin C.J.'s height with brown hair. She wore a yellow sweater with a small brown skirt. Beside her stood a small girl, about his size and age, with black hair. She wore a white tee-shirt and black shorts. She looked a little bit frightened. Sitting on the couch was a woman with short dirty blonde hair. She wore a grey tanktop with matching shorts. Next to her was another girl around A.J.'s age with yellow hair, more darker skin, and a rather demented smile on her face. She wore a school girl's uniform. Finally a tall girl with ebony hair and a samurai gi stood in the center of the room studing their surroundings.

Oh my god. It can't be. A.J. thought. I better see what they want, Sammartino style. He silently tucked into a foward roll into the kitchen/living room. He stayed silent until he heard someone say

"I guess I better make breakfast then." He rose from his hiding spot.

"Alright, who are you and how'd you get here?" He asked, the small wooden sword outreached in front of him. The girls jumped.

"That's what we want to know." The brown haired girl asked.

"Has anyone seen Motoko?" The small, slightly insane girl commented.

"Do anything to endanger us and your life is mine." A.J. felt a cold blade freeze the skin on his neck.

"There she is." The one on the couch replied.

"You can't kill me in my own house." A.J. wimpered.

"Wait, you live here?" The girl behind him asked.

"Yeah. Why do you think I'm in my pajamas?"

"Oh. My apoligies."

"It's ok just touch me with that sword again and heads go flying."

"I guess I should introduce myself. I'm Motoko Aoyama."

"A.J. Sammartino." The girls walked over to him and introduced themselves.

"I'm Naru Narusegawa."

"Mitsune Konno. Nice house you have here."

"I'm Shinobu Maehara." The small girl bowed.

"Where that other girl?" A.J. asked. Before anyone could answer, he was glomped by the missing member.

"I'm Koalla Su! You're funny."

"Yeah well that's what people tell me." Someone was coming down the stairs.

"Oh man, this is not good." A.J. was worried. He played stupid during the introductions because he didn't want the girls to know that people all around the world knew who they were.

"Hey A.J., what do you want for breakfast?" A girl in a sweatshirt and baggy pants walked into the kitchen. She had dirty blonde hair and her eyes were closed. It was his sister Lisa.

"I'll have french toast." A.J. replied, rushing the girls into the dining room.

"I'll help." Shinobu said but Naru covered her mouth.

"What was that Age?" Lisa asked, her eyes now open.

"I was just practicing my Homestar impression. I'll help you with da bweakfust!"

"How did I have someone so weird for a brother?" A few minutes passed and A.J. ate his breakfast. He felt someone tapping his shoulder he turned around to be face to face with Su.

"Where the bathroom?"

Lisa turned around to see the strange girl in the middle of the kitchen.

"Dang it Su! Now you've blown everyone's cover."

"Sorry A.J."

"Can someone tell me what's going on?" Lisa was shaking slightly. She is one to panic in uncomfortable situations. The others walked out of the dining room.

"Lisa. There are umm..."

"We're exchange students from California." Naru cut in.

"Nice save." A.J. whispered.

"Thanks."

"Oh. Well you guys can have breakfast too. Sit down."

"I'll help you." Shinobu said.

"Thanks. I can use the help." The two flew around the kitchen, whipping up a breakfast faster than you can say Viz versus Tokyopop.

More footsteps were heard and a woman in her late forties, earley fifties walked into the room. She wore a pink nightgown and had messy brown hair and glasses.

"A.J., Lisa, who are these people?"

"They're exchange students from California Mom." A.J. replied.

"Oh. Welcome to our home. Enjoy your stay."

"Thank you." The Hina Girls said in unison. Breakfast passed and everyone was siting on the couch. The door that lead to the garage opened and a short pudgy man in his late forties, earlt fifties with curley black hair, a small bristly beard, a black tee-shirt and black jeans walked in.

"Hey family!" He called out. "I'm..." He stopped as he stred at the girls on the couch.

"Uhh Dad. We need to talk. Ladies if me and my father could have some privacy."

"Go ahead." Naru replied. A.J. walked his dad into the garage.

"Son, I didn't know you could pick up chicks. I mean, there is that one girl that went nuts about you just by hearing what you're like but this?"

"Yeah Dad, whatever. Listen, I haven't told this to anyone but those girls are from a series call Love Hina."

"What? You mean that book that you keep buying."

"Yes and these girls can sometimes get mad very easily so don't do anything pervy or foolish around them."

"Why? It's not like they're gonna beat us up or anything."

"Oh yeah?" A.J. handed his father volume one of Love Hina and showed him several pages were Keitaro got the snot beat out of him.

"Ouch. I best do as you said then."

"Yep. Don't make them mad, that's all I'm saying. I nearly got my head cut off this morning."

"But why didn't you do your Jiu-Jitsu?"

"I'm 13 Dad. You really think I'm gonna do my techniques with a sword up to my neck?"

"You're right. Let's go inside then." The two walked back into the house.

That's it for now but more chapters are definatly on the way.


	2. Gaining Trust

Wow! I see a lot of people read my story and thanks to the two peoples who reviewed. I have a lot planned for this story and it's gonna be a huge project. Now it's review answering time!

de bombz: I'll keep dishing if you keep reading.

AnimeWondererJohan: There is a love triangle with A.J., Shinobu, and Koalla Su that I am definatly gonna put in the story. The blasting won't really be numerous but there will be fights, such as the one in this chapter.

Chapter 2: Gaining Trust

After breakfast, everyone started to wind down. "You girls make yourself at home. I'll be taking a shower upstairs." A.J. made his way up the hardwood stairs as the sunlight shone through the many windows of the foyer. Once he gotten into his room, he closed the door, got undressed, turned on the shower, and blasted the song The Day The Music Died(American Pie) by Don McLean on his computer. Unknown to him at the time, Shinobu was making her way towards his room, thinking he wasn't in the shower yet.

"Uhh A.J. Are you in here?' She asked in a small voice.

"Did you write the book of love and do you have faith in God above, if the Bible tells you so?"

It was at the point where A.J. started singing "Bye Bye Miss American Pie" when Shinobu walked into the bathroom with him in the shower. He turned around to see the shocked girl staning there. As if at instinct, the two screamed in unison as Shinobu ran out of the room and tore up the stairs with her running. Naru, hearing the scream, ran over to Shinobu.

"What happened?"

"I saw A.J. in the shower."

"What? That little perv is going down!"

"WAIT!" Shinobu started but Naru was already off. Her head drooped. "I didn't even tell her that I walked in on him on accident."

"Too late. I bet she's already gotten to him." Mitsune chuckled. Naru made her way into the bathroom where A.J. was still paranoid from his first visitor.

"HOW DARE YOU FLASH YOUR PRIVATES AT SHINOBU?"

"AHH! GET OUT OF MY BATHROOM YOU PERVERT!" A.J. landed a side-thrusting kick(He's a yellow belt in the martial arts style of Jiu-Jitsu or "gentle art") into Naru's stomach that launched her through the already open door and down the hallway.

"Oww." Naru layed on the floor, out of breath.

"I take that back." Mitsune added. "He got to her."

A.J. got out of the shower and did his usual morning reutine, which included putting on cologne and deoderent, brushing his teeth, and putting on his clothes. Today he put on his camo shorts and Old Navy American Flag tee-shirt. He picked up the phone and called his friend Joey Falcone. He picked up the plastic lightsaber from the bench in that sat at the foot of his bed and walked out of his room. After walking downstairs he was "attacked" by an already drunk Mitsune.

"Hey Keitaro. What are you doing at A.J.'s house?" It's true that A.J. and Keitaro looked the same, aside from the eye color, but this was rediculous.

"What are you talking about Mitsune? I'm A.J."

"No, you're Keitaro. Now take me to bed!"

"Are you drunk?"

"Yes, yes Sir I am." She flashed a drunken grin. A.J. really wanted to get rid of her so he played along.

"Ok. Let's go Lover."

"WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" He threw her onto the couch next to a sleeping Naru.

"I must've knocked the wind out of her." He thought. A.J. sighed as Mitsune started snoring and he walked into the garage. He opened the garage door that lead to the driveway but as he stepped down from the steps that lead from the doorway to the house he was jumped by Su.

"HEY A.J.!"

"AHHH! Oh it's just you Su. What's up?"

"Nuttin. You know where the hammer is in this house?" A stuid question since he lived there and knew where EVERYTHING was. He grabbed the hammer from it's place on the wall and handed it to him.

"Thanks!"

"No problem." He started walking outside where he saw Motoko and Shinobu sitting. Shinobu blushed slightly.

"I see Su has already been asking for tools."

"What does she do with them?" He already knew the answer.

"Builds inventions and other contraptions that seem to cause disasterous things."

"Oh. That's not good. Listen my friend Joey is coming over and I need to make up an excuse why you're here so whatever I say, just play along with ok?"

"Sure." She leaned back. Noticing the lightsaber she slowly withdrew a small bamboo sword and jumped him. He backed up and withdrew the lightsaber, which opened and clashed with the wooden sword and make a loud crack.

"You're pretty good." the dumbstruck Motoko commented.

"Well that was a pretty basic attack."

"That's true. But here's one that isn't! BERUGU MAKIWARI BUTSUKERU(Mountain Splitting Attack) !"

As Motoko's sword came down, A.J. could see a blue blade shaped manifestation of ki(life) energy coming down upon him.

"Think Age, think!" He yelled in his mind. The ki attack was coming closer and closer. "TASIBAKI MOVEMENTS!" He stepped to the right front corner and dodged the attack. Motoko came down, slightly unbalenced as A.J. tapped her with the plastic sword and made her fall over. He stood over her, with each foot near one armpit. He place the tip of the plastic sword near her neck.

"I won." Motoko was astounded. He looked like a normal wimpy kid but somehow he was able to beat her.

"I can't believe it." she muttered. A.J. reached out a hand to help her up, which she grabbed and was lifted to her feet. Shinobu shyly walked over.

"Congratulations."

"Thanks Shinobu."

"Umm, I'm sorry for walking in on you."

"It's ok. Just knock next time ok?"

"Ok." Shinobu smiled. They turned around to see a boy on a bike clapping. He had short black hair, lightly dark skin, brown cargo shorts, beige tee-shirt, a cross bling around his neck, and a blue baseball cap on his head. He had a simular lightsaber clipped on his belt.

"Nice fighting there Age." He called out.

"Thanks Joey." A.J. walked up to him. "You ready for some action?"

"Hella yes!" Joey isn't really gangsta, he's more laid back, but by the looks of him that's what you'd think.

"Are you gonna introduce me to your friends?" Joey asked.

"Yeah. They're cosplayers who are staying at my house for an anime convention and like to be calle by the character they're playing."

"That's a lie Age." Joey replied.

"What?"

"I know they come from somewhere else beyond this demension. I saw a flash coming from your living room and I heard a scream this morning." A.J., Shinobu and Motoko stood there with their mouths open.

"Anyway, this is Motoko and Shinobu."

"Hi."

"Nice to meet you."

Joey knew to keep his mouth shut about the two girls because he was also a Love Hina fan.

"Nice to meet you too."He replied.

"Now that the intros are out of the way, Let's get ready to RUMBLE!" A.J. yelled quite cheesely. A.J. still didn't have enough intelligence about not yelling when people are sleeping so his litle outburst wok up Naru and let's just say(Pulls up advisory screen) WARNING: Due to graphic content, viewer and parental escretion is advised. Not ment for children under 13. Anywho, let's get back to the story shall we?

Joey and A.J. took their respective places and started their usual game of clashing plastic blades while trying not to hit anyone's fingers, even so they could fight without them. Each blow was met and jump attacks were either loudly blocked or sidestepped. Meanwhile inside...

"Who just woke me up?" A rather disgruntled Naru asked. "And why am I on the couch?"

"Oh that's right, you don't remember." Mitsune was already up and ready for some action.

"What are you talking about Kitsune?"

"You walked in on A.J. while he was in the shower and somehow he knocked you out and sent you flying down the hallway."

"Where is that little perv?" Su walked in with some robot looking device that used to be A.J.'s X-Box.

"He's outside sword fighting with some kid." She told them.

"Oh he's going down!"

"Naru, breathe." Mitsune was worried of what could happen but it was too late. The angry brown haired girl was already out the door. Everything was quiet until Su broke the silence. "I MADE AN X-BOT!" A.J. and Joey were still going strong, clashing the plastic blades together. Quick flashes of the green and blue blades ended with them struck together with a loud cracking noise. Naru had made her way outside through the garage and was lurking her way towards A.J., who was totally unaware of her presence. Her eyes were glued on him watching his movements, everything he did, how much of Keitaro he looked like.

"He looks just like him. It's just so comforting and...what am I thinking?" She thought. "Now's my time to strike!" She dashed over to A.J., getting ready to use her famous Iron Punch when Shinobu blew her cover.

"A.J. LOOKOUT! SHE'S GONNA PUNCH YOU!" A.J. blocked but didn't attack. The way he blocks is that he uses his arm bone to damage the attackers arm so the attacker hurts his/herself more thn he/she hurts the victem. Naru withdrew from her attack, holding her arm in pain.

"Oww! What did you do?"

"I blocked your attack."

"I still don't like what you did, you pervert." Shinobu stepped in.

"It was my fault Naru. Stop yelling."

"Don't be so modest Shinobu. I know he was promoting his package."

"Hey!" Joey stepped in. "A.J. may be a bit of a pervert but he'd never flash himself to someone."

"Thanks Joey." A.J. said sarcasticly.

"No problem."

"Whatever. I still don't trust you."

"That's not what happened this morning." A.J. struck back.

"Well I thought you were just a good kid this morning."

"You have a point Narusegawa."

"DON'T CALL ME BY MY LAST NAME!"

"Whatever but you're gonna have to trust me sooner or later."

"That's true Naru(More rhyming)." Motoko pointed out.

"Whatever!" And just like that, Naru stomped back inside, having lost the attack and the argument.

The day went by fast and night soon came. Something surpised the girls after finding their pajamas and extra clothing somehow gotten to the house. After living spaces were agreed everyone went to sleep...exept A.J. and Naru. It was about twelve o clock at night and A.J. was up watching The Andy Milonakis Show. Naru on the other hand was thinking about other things while Shinobu and Mitsune slumbered next to her.

"I wonder how we got here. What's going on back at the Hinata Inn? How the hell does that moron of a kid STAY UP SO LATE?" Her thoughts were what you'd expect after her first day and she was a bit worried. The sleep timer in A.J.'s T.V. turned off the appliance and A.J. was already asleep. After awhile Naru heard scratching coming from downstairs. She got up from her bed and went to investigate. After silently scaling the stairs, she saw what was making the noise. Two burglers made their way into the house and starting stealing stuff. She made her way near them and got ready to fight them.

"What are you doing in this house?" She calmly asked.

"Hey check it out Mick. A hot babe. Wanna steal her?"

"Nah but we can rough her up if you know what I mean." The two grabbed Naru and tried her up, not forgetting to gag her. They threw her on the couch so they could get to her last. Meanwhile upstairs...

"I'm hungry." A.J. got out of his bed and walked downstairs for a late night Pop-Tart. As he reached the halfway point on the stairway he heard the commotion of muffled screams and laughing burglers. He ran back to his room and got his katana sword from it's rack and walked downstairs. He removed the blade from it's sheath and walked in.

"Get out of my house." He said in a commanding tone.

"What're you gonna do? You're a kid." One of the thieves asked. He saw the sword and started putting everything back.

"That's right. Put everything back and get the hell outta here." The burglers nearly shat themselves when they ran out. A.J. placed the sword back in it's sheath and sighed. He remembered Naru on the couch and went straight to untieing her.

"Just hold still." Naru kept squirming. She had her eyes shut tight and she was screaming. A.J. placed his and on her cheek and told her to relax. She opened her eyes to see A.J. helping her. Because she was so afraid and so relieved, she calmed down but her mind told her that it was Keitaro helping her. After A.J. untied and ungagged Naru, she wrapped her arm around him and started crying.

"It's ok. Don't cry." He soothingly told her.

"Stay with me. I don't want to be lonely Keitaro."

"I will." And the two stayed on the couch all night in one hug.

Thanks for reading the first chapter. This story had gotten more hits than my other stories and I'm happy about that. Next chapter includes the introduction of the love triangle, dancing to 70's music, and some cool inventions. Z-Ya in 30!


	3. Dancing, Crushes, and Love Oh My!

Wow. I really like the response from my last chapter. I thank all of my fans for making this fanfic a success for so far. I've now broken 200 hits and people are getting hooked more and more. Now I'm gonna reply to some reviews and then get onto the story.

Kory Andola: I just did update soyou can keep that nutjob. She turned my X-Box into a robot and I don't want her anymore.

Cynim: Keep reading and maybe your insight on American writing styles will grow.

de bombz: Naru and A.J. ain't falling in love. He's just 13 and she's 19. AGE DIFFERENCE PEOPLE!

Chapter 3: Dancing, Crushes, and Love Oh My!

Morning came and the sunlight shimmered through the windows of the livingroom. Naru's eyes opened to the light and felt she was lying on top of something. She turned her head to see A.J. lying under her. His brown hair was messy and a katana sword was on the coffee table next to the couch. She was slightly grossed out to find herself on top of the one person he hated the most but then she remembered what happened the night before. She also realised her arms were wrapped around him. With a smile she removed one arm and placed it on his cheek.

"A.J. wake up." His eyes slowly opened to focus on the smiling brown haired girl.

"Naru, can I ask you something?"

"That little nut. He wants a hero's reward. I'll give it to him." Naru thought with a smile.

"Anything." She narrowed her eyes to look more seductive.

"Can you get off me? I have to pee."

"Oh." She wasn't expecting that. "Ok. Go on ahead." She got off of him and sat on the couch.

"Thanks." He got up and walked to the bathroom and shut the door. Shinobu walked down the stairs and found Naru.

"Where were you? You weren't in bed this morning and A.J. wasn't in his room."

"Shinobu what I'm about to tell you might scare you but don't freak out ok?"

"Ok Naru."

"Last night two guys broke in and started stealing stuff. I came down to see what was going on and I attacked them but they were too strong and tied me up. They were going to do things to me but A.J. came down with that sword and scared them off."

"Wow. Was he scared?"

"It didn't look it but then I mistook him as Keitaro and we slept down here together." Shinobu turned red.

"You ok?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." Shinobu said, turning away. A.J. walked out of the bathroom and got himself a Pop-Tart.

"Morning Shinobu."

"Good morning A.J. I heard about what happened last night."

"Oh. I hope the cops busted those two ass wipes." Shinobu giggled. "Me too."

"Hey A.J., can we talk?" Naru asked.

"Ok." A.J. replied biting down into one of the pastries. "After my breakfast ok?" He asked swallowing the food.

"That's fine." Naru replied taking the second one with a smile. "That'll speed things up." She thought. Naru sat across from A.J. and stared into his eyes. SHe didn't know what she was doing but her brain was definatly not in control(HORMONES!). A.J. finished his Pop-Tart just before Naru and stood up.

"Let's go in here and talk ok?" Naru said smiling. She was pointing to the computer room.

"Ok." A.J. was grabbed by the hand and yanked into the room. Naru locked the door and made sure no one could get in. A.J. took a seat on the couch while Naru stood up.

"Listen after what you did last night and stayed with me I have feelings for you." A.J. was confused but he knew what she meant.

"I have a crush on you" She got on top of him. "and I want to give you a reward for saving me." Delicately she placed her lips on his and kissed him. A.J.'s eyes grew wide an pushed Naru off of him.

"Hold on! You're like 19 and I'm 13. Not only is this against the law with the kissing and going on top of me but it would never work out."

"I'm just trying to see if it's a crush or more than that."

"I don't care Naru it's not" He stopped when he saw the hurt expression on Naru's face. "I guess I'll give it a chance as a crush." Nary wrapped her arms around him and smiled.

"Thank you A.J.-San."

"No prob." He unlocked the door and walked out.

He ran upstairs to take a shower to find Mitsune mixing what seemed to be different vodkas in his sink.

"Kitsune, get out of my bathroom."

"Party pooper." She said scooping the concoction out of the sink. A.J. stepped in the shower and did his usual morning duties. When he got dressed he heard a loud boom outside. He ran outside to see what appeared to be his X-Box in a giant robot form slowly going on a rampage with Koalla Su trying to stop it.

"I never shoulda made this thing." A.J. ran out just in time to push Su out of the way of a stray disk.

"I hope that wasn't Halo 2."

"Nope, an R Kelly CD."

"My sister should keep her stuff in her room and not by my X-Box." A.J. ran towards the bot and kicked it with immense force. The robot toppled over and the robotic menace transformed back into the calm gentle system it once was.

"That was close. Tell me when you're gonna make crap like this next time ok Su?"

"Ok. I'm sorry." She leaped onto A.J. and almost made him topple over.

"He's just like Keitaro." Su thought. "I think I might like him more than I do most people."

Nightfall came and A.J. sat by his computer, listening to music. He heard footsteps and looked at his door to see Shinobu looking at him.

"Oh A.J. I'm sorry to bother you." She said, ready to leave.

"No it's ok. I was bored anyway." The song December 1963 began to play.

"I love dancing to this song." Shinobu said with a romantic sigh.

"Then how about we dance to it?"

"Really?" A.J. nodded and took Shinobu by the hand. The two started out slowly.

Oh what a night, late December 1963. What a very special time for me, as I remember what a night.

A.J. spun Shinobu around as they came together.

Oh what a night, you know I didn't even know her name. But I was never gonna be the same, what a lady what a night.

The two stared into each other's eyes. Shinobu's blue irises seemed to blend into A.J.'s turquoise ones.

Oh I, I got a funny feeling when she walked in the room. And I as I recall it ended much too soon.

They swung lazily while the music enveloped them.

Oh what a night, hypnotising mesmerising me. She was everything I dreamnt she'd be, sweet surrender what a night.

Shinobu wrapped her arms around him as the music came to the middle part.

I felt a rush like a rolling ball of thunder, spinning my head around and taking my body under, oh what a night.

A.J. spun Shinobu around gently as the word spinning was said. They came together to stare into each other's eyes once again. They swung gently during the musical intermission.

Oh I got a funny feeling when she walked in the room, and I as I recall it ended much too soon.

Shinobu got close once again and stared into his eyes even deeper, feeling what could be love.

Oh what a night, my it takes alot to see the light. Seemed so wrong but now it seemed so right, what a lady what a night.

A.J. stared back as he felt the same feeling Shinobu had. He had a small crush on Naru but his feelings were bigger for Shinobu.

Oh I felt a rush like a rolling ball of thunder, spinning my head around and taking my body under oh what a night.

A.J. dipped Shinobu and the two stared deep into each other's eyes. Without a sound. A.J. and Shinobu kissed. He lifted her to her feet.

"You dance pretty well Shinobu." A.J. said with a calm and seductive voice.

"So do you." Shinobu replied. "I need to go to bed now. See you in the morning big boy." She said with a romantic sight and she left the room. A.J. stood there speechless. He shut off the computer and got in bed. His only words were "Oh what a night."

That's it for this month. I hope you liked my little chapter and I can't wait to hear what you guys think of it. Z-Ya in 30!


	4. Spoofs

Sorry this update is late guys but I've been tied up lately. Anyway let's get to some reviews and I'm gonna start with one that really ticked me off. Also the sword that A.J. used to scare off the burglers in chapter two was real, NOT PLASTIC.

filetginon19: Thanks for the complement but the whole weird thing stands. If you've ever really looked at Love Hina you could see it's weird. It's got flying turtles for crap's sake! If by special attacks you mean Tasibaki Movements then you're sadly mistaken. Tasibaki Movment is basicly a set of step that you use to get out of the line of attack in the most efficent manner possible. You can use them when being attacked by a train for example. I thought it would be funny to have the Naru thing so deal. The fighting with plastics swords is actually something me and my friends used to do. It was also done in the Medieval Age when young squires trained to become knights only back then they used wooden swords. I am kickass at Martial Arts in real life so that's not a real problem but I do confess I gave myself too much power. I have written a few non self-insert fics(READ TURNABOUT DREAMS PEOPLE! IT'S GOOD!) and I wanted to do this one for a while now and about the whole "fantasies" thing, mine are way more mature for this kinda stuff.

chrisnjrunner7: I'm sorry dude but I can't send my fanfic over email but thanks for being a fan.

Kory Andola: I'll keep writing but you can keep the nut. My family is already chockfull of them.

Cynim: I was actually listening to the song when I got the idea for that part. Both Su and Shinobu are 13 so basicly they are the age they were in the begining of the series.

NCHammer326: Thanks. Really I'm not so smooth with the ladies but I do have some helpful advice when it comes to taking care of your lady. Good thing my Gamecube didn't turn into a Gamecubeakazi.

And now on to the show!

Chapter 4: Spoofs

A.J. woke to the sound of Su screaming in pain. He went down to the garage to see her holding her foot as though she'd drop something on it.

"What did you do now Su?" He asked, still half asleep. "I'm making this device that will change out entire day into a series of movie spoofs." Su said with a smile, hugging him. She held a small remote control looking device in her hand.

"Does it work?"

"Dunno. I'll try it now!"

"SU NO!" A white light enveloped the house. A.J. then opened his eyes to find himself lying by the pool. Somehow he had turned blue and had hedgehog spines.

"Hey A.J.! Check out my new surfboard! You don't even have to swim to use it!" He turned his head to see Su holding some sort of rocket-powered surfboard and she was yellow with fox ears and two fox tails.

"I know what this is. It's the opening scene from Sonic The Hedgehog The Movie!" He thought.

"No thanks Su."

"Whatever." She got into the water and surfed along the water, doing handstands and other feats.

"That Su is like a little kid with her new toy." He layed back and started listening to a boombox when all of the sudden Su started screaming.

"A.J.!" The board flew out of the pool and was heading for the lagoon with her on it!

"ACK! I'm coming Su!" He wound up his legs in a figure eight and sped towards her with amazing speed.Just before Su could launch off the dock A.J. grabbed her.

"Wow. Thanks Age."

"No prob." The bright light returned and scene changed.

A huge boat running through the waters of the Atlantic Ocean carried two people, coincidently Naru and A.J. on it's deck. The wind whipped around them as they danced to the convieniently placed background music.

"Titanic? You've got be kidding." A.J. thought.

"A.J."

"Yes Naru?"

"There's always been something I've wanted to do."

"What's that?" Naru smiled at him and lead him over to the bow of the ship. She stood on the anchor and held out her arms. A.J. then picked her up by her waisted and held her out farther.

"I'm the Queen Of The World!" She squealed and then the scene shifted.

A dark highway appeared where a lone car run down the streets.

"For as far back as I can remember, I've always wanted to be a mobster."

"Woah, Goodfellas. This is one of my favorites." A.J. smiled. He got out of the car alongside Mitsune. They opened the trunk to see a man bound up and gagged.

"Oh dear God help me." The man whimpered.

"Shut the Fudgesicles up!" Mitsune said hitting the man with a bat. A.J. took him out of the trunk to see that it was really...

"Don Knotts?"

"I got kicked off of Andy Griffith."

"Man you're lame. Let's kick his ass Mitsune."

"Ok." And they beat the actor in a mafia styled rage whilst the scene shifted again.

A dance room full of people appeared with Shinobu in the center pleading with her parents.

"Please let me dance in this contest."

"No Shinobu. You defied what we said and now we're going home and when we get there you're grounded." In the back of the room a slammed open and A.J. stepped in wearing sunglasses.

"Dirty Dancing? Man I'm getting desperate for movie ideas." He thought. "Hey." He said walking up to them. "No one put's Shinobu in a corner." Music came on and the two started dancing. The judges and Shinobu's parents couldn't believe what was happening before their eyes as the two wove a beutiful tapistry of moves and then at the music's climax A.J. held Shinobu over his head. The crowd cheered and the scene shifted.

A.J. and Darth Vader clashed their lightsabers together making loud sounds and light flashes. Hums, crackling, and clashes filled the room with sound.

"The Empire Strikes Back? That means I get my hand cut off!" A.J. screamed in his head.

"Impressive now release your anger!" The Sith Lord roared.

"Don't tell me how to fight."

"Well...SHUT UP!" The red saber slashed A.J. hand off.

"AHHHHHH!"

"Should've realeased your anger."

"Shu..SHUT UP!"

"There was a reason I did that."

"So you can kill me like you did my father?"

"It's imperitive that you understand A.J. What did Obi-Wan say about your father?"

"He told me enough! He told me you killed him!"

"No, I am your father."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"Actually I'm right, take a look." Vader took off his helmet to reveal Motoko.

"But you're a girl."

"Hey it's a spoof. Now fall down the bottomless shaft into space."

"DAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMN IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!" He yelled falling deeper and deeper in space as white light enveloped him.

Naru hummed my heart will go on as she layed in bed.

"That was wonderful."

Shinobu closed her eyes and smiled.

"I love him so much."

Mitsune plopped down on the couch.

"Damn old actors."

Su threw out the surfboard she made.

"No more for you!"

Motoko sat and thought.

"I need to get a lightsaber."

A.J. jumped in bed and sighed.

"I'm locking Su in a closet tomorrow."

That's it for now guys! Z-Ya in 30!


	5. The Power Of TV

Disclaimer: Heeeee's baaaaaaaaack! After a year of hiatus and not having access to my compy, LH:MS is back and this time it won't suck as much. I only own myself, my family, my friends, and the situtations in this story. Love Hina and it's characters are owned by Ken Akamatsu. Now as Super Mario would say, "HERE-A WE GOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Chapter 5: The Power Of T.V.

A.J. and Joey sat in the former's room. They were bored out of their minds and needed something to do. "Let's see what's on T.V." Joey said, picking up the remote and pressing the power button. The screen flashed on and well...this is what they watched. "In other news, a pervert has gotten his hands on a remote that can alter reality Making firehydrents intoclick BIG SPIN, BIG SPIN, BIG SPIN!click Coming up next on Nickelodeon, HNAS THE SINGING PINEAPPLE!" A.J. gasped in fear. "FOR THE LOVE OF GOD JOE, TURN OFF THE FREAKIN T.V.!" Joey slammed on the power button and the screen went dark. The two friends sighed when they heard a noise coming from A.J.'s closet. Suddenly, Su flew from the closet to A.J.'s bed. "It's dark in there!" She exclaimed with a smiled. "GET OUTTA HERE!" A.J. yelled, chasing her out with his wooden sword from chapters 1 and 2. He sighed, put the sword back, and walked over to his bed. "You know Age, I have a video camera. We can make our own T.V. show." A.J. lookd at Joey. "That is a smart idea right there. Let's do it."

The two boys snuck down into A.J.'s kitchen where, even though it was only noon, Mitsune was already drunk out of her mind and harrassing Naru. "Hey Naru?" Mitsune asked in a drunken stupor. "What now Kitsune?" The brown-haired beauty replied in disgust.

"Knock knock!"

"sigh Who's there?"

"I have boobs!" Kitsune giggled and then fell straight to the ground. The two boys tried to stifle their laughter and went to their next filming area.

Koalla Su looked into the camera. "Okay, we're gonna do the Mannequin Car Accident." She backed up and we could se she was holding a life-sized, realistic looking mannequin. She threw it into the street and a car ran over the mannequin's head. The car screeched and a frightened man got out of the car. "OH MY GOD! BIG BROTHER!" Su cried as she pretended to whimper. The man patted Su on the back. "I'm sorry little girl. I-" He was cut off by Su. "I SHOULD PRESS CHARGES!" She screamed. The man covered her mouth in order to silence her. Off camera you could her Joey yell "MOTOKO! SU'S GETTING ATTACKED BY A PERVERT!" Soon, the samurai girl bursted through the front door and chased the man down the street with Joey and A.J. following behind with the camera.

Later on in the day... Joey hooked up the camera to A.J.'s T.V., before A.J. could call everyone upstairs. Soon after, the girls crowded into A.J.'s room and they started the tape which started with a clip of the video they made the day before of Naru chasing them down the hall in her underwear and the song Harder, better, Faster, Stronger by Daft Punk playing in the background. It was then preceeded by Mitsune's drunken knock-knock joke and the mannequin footage. The tape ended and Joey and A.J. stood up. "So?" Joey asked. "What did you think about it? Is it good?" A.J. asked eagerly. "I thought it was funny." Shinobu said with a small smile. "ME TOO, ME TOO!" Su exclaimed. The other girls glared at them, obviously changing the two's minds. "I mean death to the infidels." Shinobu announced. "SAME HERE!" Su replied. The two boys then jumped out of the nearby window and ran down the street with the girls in hot persuit. "WE SHOULD FILM THIS!" Joey yelled to A.J. "YOU KNOW WHAT JOE? TO HELL WITH MAKING MOVIES!" A.J. yelled back.

Well that's it for this month. Hopefully I'll finish this and everyone won't hate me anymore. Z-YA IN 30!


	6. The Evil Forces Of PEAS

Random Blibbty Gunk: I don't own Love Hina, the characters, or an NES. Love Hina is owned and created by Ken Akamatsu. All the other characters that have never been mentioned in the manga or anime are mine, except for characters like Sonic. He's SEGA's property.

Basically here's how the story goes. Kid sits on boat in summer of 2005. Kid recently bought volume 2 of Love Hina. Kid gets an idea. Kid writes story. Story has the highest hit and review rating of all other stories, with it's own tiny fan base and group of haters. Kid gets busted for staying on computer at night. Computer gets taken away. Summer of 2006 rolls around. Kid gent's iPod nano for graduation. Temptation to write fanfics again sets in. Story is pulled out of retirement for more fun. The End.

I will finish writing this story(If one of you are wondering when I will be.) in the summer of 2007. That means HOLIDAY SPECIALS!

Any who, onto the reviews...

Kory Andola: Yep. The Hammer(That's me.), Joey, my family, and those crazy girls from Hinata Sou are back and won't suck as much this time around.

Minh Toshihiro: Yes, I understand you're not a fan of self insertion but it says right in the summary, Don't read if you don't like self insertion. CASE CLOSED! bangs gavel

And now some good news, TWO UPDATES THIS MONTH! And yes, one of them will be a holiday special, for Halloween. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!

Chapter 6: The Evil Forces Of P.E.A.S.

A.J. lay sleeping in his bed. It was six o' clock A.M. when the alarm sounded. He looked over and gasped as he slammed down on the alarm clock to silence it. "They're COMING FOR ME!" He cried as he dove out of bed. "SOMEONE HIDE ME, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!" A.J. ran downstairs and constructed a cheap fort out of blankets. He cowered in fear, and that was before Su came. "What are you doing?" She asked with a grin. A.J. sighed. "I'm incognito." He whispered. "Is incognito yummy?" the maniacal girl asked.

"Typical. I'm hiding." A.J. explained.

"Oh. Why are you hiding?" Su asked. A.J. opened his mouth but was then sent flying into a wall by Naru's Iron Punch.

"And why were you screaming at freakin SIX IN THE MORNING?" Naru furiously asked, with the other three half asleep behind her. A.J. rubbed his head and took a deep breath to calm down. "I was just getting to that." He told her. "You see, during the summer months in America, the kids are off for a break. When September rolls around, however, an evil organization comes and forces the kids to wake up early in the morning for five days a week and go to a government brain-washing facility where they spend eight hours of their day to slave away and lose all hope of individuality."

"That's horrible!" Shinobu gasped, with fear in her voice.

"It is!" A.J. replied. "And sadly, if they get me, I will become nothing more but an angry, spiteful, uncreative shell."

"Actually" Mitsune cut in, "you wrote this thing. You would need to have no creativity to write a self-insertion fic."

"NO FOURTH-WALL BREAKAGES!" A.J. screamed. He retained his dignity and a determined look overtook his face. "But since you all have unique and useful talents, you can help me avoid my terrible fate." The girls thought about it. "I don't know, I think I would like a break from you." Naru stated. A.J.'s face was wretched in terror.

"WHY?" He wailed.

"Hello! Don't you remember that video you and Joey made?" She replied.

"JUST HELP ME!" A.J. screamed. Naru became silent and eventually she gave in.

"Alright, we'll help you." She sighed. A.J. squealed with joy and then became dressed in fatigues using some sort of mini-montage. "Let's do this!" He shouted as he ran off. The girls just watched him run for about five seconds. "Are we supposed to follow him?" Motoko asked. "YES!" A.J. yelled. The girls sighed and walked off.

Headlights blasted through the darkness as a vehicle roared down the streets. It's sickly yellow was only a light compliment to it's horrid churning sound of a diesel engine at full power. The six hid out in a foxhole in the backyard, fog hanging lazily in the air. "So A.J., who exactly are these people who are after you?" Shinobu asked. A.J.'s face grew stone-cold. "Their name is so horrible that only an acronym can be used for them. They are P.E.A.S."

Naru sighed. "We're hiding from peas? Oh, this is stupid!"

"HEY!" A.J. shot back. "That's only the acronym. I mean the United Nations isn't stupid but come on, U.N.? Oon? It's ridiculous. Just stay down and blah blah blah. Blah blah blah blah blah, yak yak, dribble dribble dribble!" A.J.'s words became nonsense in Naru's mind. Her rage building. She was so angry that she couldn't stand it anymore and she shouted a war cry which split the morning air. She then grabbed A.J. in a fit of rage and-We interrupt your normally scheduled fan programming to broadcast a family friendly cartoon that teaches children the dangers of being a perverted freak.

DiC and 4Kid Entertainment(A.N. NOOOOOOOOOO!) present, The Perv and The Remote: Why People Shouldn't Build Matter Changing Devices and Leave Them In Atlantic City. Voices done by-thrown down in front of the vehicle. A.J. stared up and gasped. "Why Naru? Why are you sending me into the clutches of Public Education And School, also known as P.E.A.S.?" A.J. screamed.

"You've been hiding because you don't want to go to school? Suck it up!" Su laughed as A.J. was sent away on the bus to school. "That was a waste of a morning." Motoko sighed. "And a chapter." Mitsune added. "Yeah well, the two fans who actually still read this would've been mad so, it's good that he wrote this chapter." Shinobu said. The others agreed and they walked back into A.J.'s house.

And Chapter 6 is over! YAY!

Su: We really should fill up that hole in your backyard.

Yeah...we should.


	7. The Maehara Before Christmas

Disclaimer: This is me on coffee. HEY! I JUST HAD A LOT OF COFFEE! BLUBBADDABLUBBADDABLUBBADDABLUBBADDABLA! Love Hina and any characters from it are property of Ken Akamatsu. Everything else is owned by whoever owns it.

Hey guys! Sorry I haven't updated There's a reason I don't update and that reason is that I'm a human like everyone else and I'm lazy! Anyway, I was going to make two updates this month but I fell behind and well...Here's the Christmas special! I have something big cooked up for January so watch closely. By the way, October 29th was my b-day so now that makes me... counts on fingers

Naru: You're fifteen, stupid.

Right! I'm fifteen. Well, enjoy the crazy and Merry Christmahannukwanzica!

Chapter 7: The Maehara Before Christmas or A Visit From Saint Shinobu

"Twas the night before Christmas,

when all through the house,

Not a creature was stirring,

not even a mouse."

Was the opening line,

of a Christmas tale,

But I've something new,

with great detail.

It was the eve of the 25th,

'05 was the year,

And the sound of hoof beats,

Fell on Shinobu's ear.

She sat up in bed,

with joy in her heart,

Excitement had snatched her,

to a world apart.

Hearing a squeal so small,

only he could hear it,

A.J. leaped out of bed,

to find find Shinobu's spirit.

"It's Santa!" She whispered,

like the sigh of a mouse,

"There isn't reindeer,

on top of this house."

Was A.J.'s reply,

to the joy filled girl,

Whose face showed some anger,

as around she did twirl.

"I know Santa's here,

on top of this house,

And I'll prove it to you,

you Scroogey young louse."

So down the stairs,

the two they did go,

And up to the rooftop,

despite the snow.

When what to his wondering eyes should appear,

But a standard red sled and nine tiny reindeer,

J said "Nine deer pulled the sled of St.Nick?,

But I though Rudolph was a marketing gimmick!"

With A.J.'s outburst,

the fat elf did fall,

And his jelly shaking butt,

did bounce like a ball.

The two teens did gasp,

their eyes full of fear,

"A.J., we have to help Santa,

or Christmas won't come next year!"

So Shinobu got down,

from on top of the roof,

While A.J. was kicked off,

by Rudolph's kicked hoof.

"Nice going Sammartino,

I've broken my leg,

Now I'm nothing more,

than a fat red keg."

"Did someone mention booze?",

Kitsune inquired,

Awake from the eggnog,

which made her quite wired.

Aside from Miss Konno's slight outburst,

the story progresses and just might get worse,

Or maybe not depends on the period of time,

and if I can continue to write in rhyme.

"I know!" A.J. shouted,

his heart full of glee,

"We'll help you out Santa,

but I gotta pee."

So after awhile,

they were back on the roof,

And A.J.'s bladder was empty,

like a magical poof.

"I don't know," said Shinobu,

"if this thing we can fly,

to deliver presents,

and soar through the sky."

Santa smiled,

a twinkling was seen in his eye,

Just to the right of his pupils,

as black as the sky.

"My child" Santa began,

"I know reality can deceive,

But to fly in the sky,

you must only believe."

And with those words of hope,

Shinobu climbed into the sleigh,

And the result of her hope,

was as clear as day.

The sled hovered slightly,

above the roof top,

And came down gently,

as the hovering did stop.

The three were on board,

Shinobu with Santa's list,

A.J. held onto the reigns,

for their Christmas bliss.

They reached the first house,

and the sled touched down,

And as A.J. got out,

he slipped like a clown.

On the icy rooftop,

he just fell on his face,

But with a hand from Shinobu,

he was back in place.

She read from the list,

and he grabbed gifts from the sack,

and with a smile A.J. said,

"I'll be right back."

Because of his thin figure,

down the chimney he slid,

But because of his ass,

the walls he did skid.

He placed the presents right under the tree,

in his heart he felt goodwill and glee,

But as he placed treats in the family's stockings,

he felt his leg a dog's tail knocking.

A.J. ran to the chimney,

afraid for his life,

The jaws of a canine,

to cause Christmas strife.

He climbed up the chimney,

like a hedgehog in blue,

and dove into the sleigh,

With Santa and Shinobu.

The toys were delivered,

only two stops remain,

And A.J. got out,

to continue the campaign.

He felt a hand grab,

his arm pale and white,

Twas simply Shinobu,

who grabbed him that night.

"You've done all the gifting,

I've sat here like a mouse,

Could you let me leave presents,

at this one house?"

We break away now,

from this Christmas scene,

To see what the writer,

Is thinking so keen.

To give freedom to him,

and to buy him some time,

He'll type normally,

instead of in rhyme.

Uh, yeah. Sorry about the multiple rhymings of house and mouse. You try sitting here and writing a Christmas poem that doubles as a story chapter. I originally didn't want to write it like this but I figured "Ah, what the heck?" As far as living with the girls goes, it's basically a hard thing to do, especially when my girlfriend is over. But anyway, as far as writing this thing goes, it was originally the Halloween special but I got lazy and well, Christmas was sneaking up on me. I wrote this entire poem and finished it on the same day, December 23rd. You're reading now, whatever date it may be. Anyway, let's get back to the story...

We continue our tale,

under the stars that make up Cancer,

To see the outcome,

of A.J.'s final answer.

"Shinobu my friend,"

he silently said,

"We made Santa fall,

because we got out of bed."

"But I admit to the fun,

I've been having tonight,

So I'll stay on the roof,

While you enter so light."

Shinobu's face lit up with glee,

'round his neck her arms were wrapped,

"I get to put toys under a tree!",

she said as A.J.'s spine snapped.

She got out the toys,

and down the chimney she slid,

To come face to face,

with a simple little kid.

His eyes were wide,

he didn't know what to do,

The same problem attacked,

poor Shinobu.

"What are you doing?",

the child did inquire,

"And why are you standing,

in my place for fire?"

"Santa was hurt",

she said oh so dear,

"And my friend and I,

are helping him this year."

The child shook his head,

this boy only three.

In his eyes were pain,

not a glimmer of glee.

"That cannot be true.",

he said like cold steel,

"My big brother told me,

that Santa wasn't real."

Shinobu took the boy,

and sat him on her knee,

And the lights shone upon them,

the glows came from the tree.

"Many people had told me,

and they said it was true,

That Santa's a lie,

and that made me quite blue."

"But I never stopped believing,

in him or his sleigh,

Because I always felt magic,

on every Christmas day."

"When I leave" she told him,

"run to the window,

And everything I've told you,

shall truly be so."

She placed down the presents,

filled the stocking with sweets,

And when she was done,

it looked very neat.

She waved to the boy,

and up the chimney she rose,

Only the night air,

met the child's nose.

He ran to the window,

his eyes filled with joy,

To see Santa's sleigh,

and the deliverer of his toys.

The sled touched down,

on the final house top,

"This here" said Santa,

"is our final stop."

The three got out,

down the chimney they went,

Shinobu was curious,

A.J. was spent.

The furniture was familiar,

the tree was too,

And A.J. realized something,

he knew it was true.

"Santa" he said,

"you're as sly as a fox,

We were out deliver toys,

that came in a box."

"I know this is cliche,

using the word mouse,

To rhyme with my statement,

This is my house!"

Santa laughed with joy,

and a Ho Ho Ho,

He put down the presents and said,

"I must go."

Shinobu was happy,

"My god what a scene",

Her heart and mouth said,

"This is serene."

A.J. sat down on the couch,

with Shinobu close by,

After their long adventure,

through the night sky.

They looked at the tree,

then into each others eyes,

But as their lips came close,

Santa said "Save it for the mistletoe guys."

They grinned as they ran,

up the stairs that night,

Knowing Christmas was saved,

and a child's heart was bright.

Santa laughed in his sleigh,

his belly did quake,

"Those two don't know,

that my foot didn't break."

The two fell asleep,

ere he drove out of sight,

and said "Happy Christmas to all,

and to all a goodnight."

The End.

Naru: This is actually pretty good. And it's the longest you've ever wrote.

Yeah well, it is Christmas. I didn't want to give the fans a crappy chapter.

Naru: That's sweet. Well, we'll see you guys next time.

That's right. Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanzaa, Happy Ramadan, Happy Festivus, and Happy Holidays. Until next time, same fanfic website, same fanfic tale.


End file.
